Talking Dogs Present The News

[news report music] [talking dog anchor] We are receiving breaking news. A dog is behind bars after a robbery at a pet store. Doug Dog is live at the scene. [Doug Dog’s voice] Hey, I asked for biscuits! Where are my biscuits? [anchor] Doug, we are live on air… Can you hear us? [Doug Dog] Oh, err… thanks Michelle! [clears throat] When three year old Bruiser broke into a pet store to steal biscuits and a squeaky toy… [toy squeak sound effect] .. he thought he was home and dry. But he didn’t count on a nose witness. [nose witness voice] I could smell that mutt a mile off. When I lick my nose [slurp sound effect] I can still taste the dude. [Doug Dog] Trevor might not have a sense of smell as sharp as a bloodhound – [deep voice] Helllooooo [sniffing] [Doug Dog] but that guy still has a pretty good snot locker! [anchor] Amazing developments, Doug. But just how did Trevor sniff out Bruiser? [Doug Dog] The area of the brain we dogs use for analysing smells is 40 times larger than a human’s. And, depending on the breed, can be up to 100,000 times more sensitive. [nose witness] I work as a detection dog. We can pick up anything. Illegal drugs. Firearms. Explosives. Even cellphones. [Doug Dog] Oh yeah, that’s impressive! [nose witness] I could tell that mongrel had been in the pet store. [Doug Dog] Yeah? [nose witness] And that he’d been stroked by five humans in the last day. [Doug Dog] Ooh, nice! [nose witness] And had a fight with a cat. [Doug Dog] Errr… [nose witness] AND ate his own vomit. [Doug Dog] Mmm, vomit. [nose witness] Is that too much information? [anchor] Thanks Doug. Have the police managed to place Bruiser at the scene of the crime? [Doug Dog] They have, Michelle. You look great today, by the way. [anchor] Ewww! [Doug Dog] Bruiser was tripped up by not one nose… … but TWO noses. And the second one, was his own. [anchor] Whadda jerk! [Doug Dog] Uh huh. Bruiser left a big fat nose print on a biscuit jar. Our noses are covered in bumps and lines, so each schnoz has a unique print. Just like a human fingerprint. So, Bruiser is bang to rights. [news report music] [anchor] At last, the greedy scourge of the city is behind bars. Sleep safe, Dog Town! [Doug Dog] Jeez, I got an itchy ass! Aaah I love you Michelle! [anchor] Doug! I’m married. Loser. [news report music]

1 Comment

  1. Dionysia Kan April 1, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    So cute!

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