Talking Dogs Present Sports News

Iiiiiit’s playtime folks! I’m Bull Stafford. And I’m Kurt Growley. Hey! How’s the divorce going, Kurt? *Grumbles* Haha…Just kidding ya! Wowsers, have we got some awesome play for you tonight! First, let’s head to Miami to hear the results of The World’s Fastest Dog. Crashing out early was Jack Russell, with a breed top speed of 25 MPH. He didn’t have the legs… [comedy high pitched voice] “I can go very very fast” But predictably, the fastest dogs of the day were Sighthounds: dogs bred to hunt by sight. So second place is Whippet Glen Cobins, who clocked up an amazing 35 MPH But in first place and with g-force jowls is Greyhound Mr. Jinxy, who hit a breed top speed of 45 MPH. That’s an incredible top speed! You gotta love a greyhound. Sure, those Greyhounds are fast! But what’s this obsession with speed? What do you mean? Fast is good, but where’s the stamina? A Greyhound is good in a sprint, but a ‘Saluki’ is probably faster over long distances. And a Siberian Husky can pull weight at Arctic temperatures for hours on end. Oh yeah? Well the Greyhound is an all-rounder! It still holds the world record high jump at 5 feet 8 inches. Can a Husky do that? Huh?! Just because your wife’s a Greyhound.. Hey at least I’ve still got a wife! I hate you… Yeah, whatever! Haha, outta the park!

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